One day Lalu.. from Delhi decided to write a book about famous Temple around the India.

He did not bought a Rail ticket and still took a trip to Bihar.
On his first day he was inside a Big Temple taking photographs when he
Noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read
'Rs.10,000 per call'.
Lalu, being intrigued, asked a Pujari who was strolling by what The telephone was used for.
The pujari replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for Rs.10,000 you could talk to God.
Lalu thanked the pujari and went along his way.
Next stop was in Maharastra. There, at a very large Temple, he saw the
Same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Bihar and
He asked a nearby Pujari what its purpose was.
He told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for Rs.10,000 He Could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the Lalu.
He then traveled to Utter pradesh , Haryana , Punjab , Madha Pradesh, Tamilnadu, Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, West Bengal... .

In every Temple he saw the same golden telephone with the same Rs.10,000
Per call' sign under it.

He asked a nearby Pujari what its purpose was.
He told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for Rs.10,000 He Could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the Lalu.
He then traveled to Utter pradesh , Haryana , Punjab , Madha Pradesh, Tamilnadu, Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, West Bengal... .

In every Temple he saw the same golden telephone with the same Rs.10,000
Per call' sign under it.

Lastly...Lallu, decided to travel to Gujarat to
See if Gujarat had the same phone.

He arrived in Gujarat, and travelled in each city , and in each Temple he entered,
there was the same golden telephone,
but this time the sign under it read
'One
Rupee per call.'

Lallu.. was surprised so he asked the Pujari about the sign.
'Pujari ji.., I've traveled all over India without Ticket and I've seen this same golden
Telephone in many Temple. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven,
But every where the price was Rs. 10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?' ? ? ? ? ?
The pujari smiled and answered,
'You're in Gujarat now, -
it's a Local Call'.

This is the only heaven on the Earth.
by dominodeck in rediff.com

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."

"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How in hell does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me...is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say,'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"

"I say Sem Ting." by

A Teacher lecturing on population:

 

  In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.

 

  A Sardar stands up and says: we must find and stop her ! by james

There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says "Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read: "Now there are two". by Anon

Scene: A lunatic asylum

A patient is sitting at a bath tub with a fishing rod in hand. The hook is, of course, in the bath tub. The psychiatrist sees it and thinks it the best occasion for a session of counselling. 

Psychiatrist: Hey, Peter, got any fish?

Patient: No, you idiot, this is only a bath tub. 

(Courtesy: Albert Camus)
by

Heard lot of jokes about Sardarji and you all have laughed your heart out at them. but.....if I give you a Ten rupee note and tell you to give it to the first beggar Sardar you find in the morning, the tTen rupee note will be with you for your life time. try it out. by Ashok Chavda

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!! A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton. The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr. Clinton should say, "I am fine, and you?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is....When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?". Mr Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humour: "Well, I am Hilary's husband, haha...." Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, hahaha.." Then there was a long silence in the meeting room. by Conversation